Recently, in revising for yesterday’s exam, I did find the joy in learning again; in reading the core textbook. True, most of the interesting bits were irrelevant to my course, but it was self-directed learning. And I enjoyed it. I now know how we balance; which cranial nerves run from the chemoreceptors in the tongue to the LGN (lateral geniculate nucleus), and which of the three layers in the LGN relate to three of the four types of ganglion cells, which relate to our eyesight. Okay, moving swiftly on before my three readers get frightened and leave the page=P
Trying to stay mindful is just.. It’s not hard; because it’s not even in my thoughts. I took a moment to breathe in my exam, but otherwise, haven’t been too mindful. I walked to Falmer Pond last night and sat for 30 minutes just breathing, watching the ducks and geese and gulls.
During meditation yesterday, we discussed conditions. I struggle with that word being used to describe this concept, but think I get the point of the concept. The ideal is that everything has a cause and an effect, thus is “conditioned”. We were asked to think of the conditions of an object (ours was a book) and find the links. So books – paper – trees- sun and water and soil. Then there’s ink, then the writer, and writer’s parents caused writer, their parents caused them; illustrations from an artist, artist from artist’s parents. All those humans need food and water, the trees were cut down by humans also. There’s so many links and this is one of the fundamental lessons of enlightenment. Everything needs everything else. Food comes form crops (or animals which eat crops), crops need sun and water.. etc. It was certainly a useful exercise.
It seems meditations where I’m just ‘zoning out’, especially in nature, are my easiest: Where I just feel the earth beneath me, hear the birds and smell the grass. It’s just not as easy in my room; even with the window open, to focus. Perhaps it’s society’s conditioning. I’m in my room with textbooks and my laptop and the idea of sitting on my bed and doing.. –le gasp- <NOTHING> is just.. unfathomable. What a WASTE OF TIME.
Perhaps that’s part of the reason, anyway.
Enjoy your week.