At the moment, I’ve a couple of blog entries started, including one for International Pagan Values Blogging Month, but I’ve given myself the challenge to write a post at least once a week, and preferably twice until July. Of course, I have exams until the 26th and then go home on the 27th and then have to unpack things before packing others to go to Ireland a few days later; so it’s going to be a bit of a mission.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working on the Buddhist side of my practice. I’m attending my weekly hour-long session with Karasu and the other group members. We start with Do’ing, and then talk a little bit, before meditating and then talking about our experiences with the meditation. I ask any questions I wish to and answer any he asks us, without having to worry about whether or not my idea will be seen as stupid or ridiculous. The two regulars who attend with me are both members of the Western Buddhist Order, and know Karasu from the Buddhist Centre. Thus, I feel that I’m the ‘youngest’ student on this path. This, for some reason, means I feel fine asking questions; because younger are allowed to ‘not know’.
Yesterday, I found some videos online of Buddhists talking about their daily practises. It got me thinking and realising what I lack in my own practise. Instead of taking my old approach, and trying to change my entire routine, I’m just trying to be more aware of things.
I’ve got Enya playing at the moment, the sunlight’s just about coming in through my window (east-facing, and it’s now 10:30am) and if it warms up, I’ll likely open the window and breathe in some of that semi-clean air.
On Thursday, I mentioned a meditation where I became myself in ten years time, and spoke to myself as I am now. I’ve been incorporating this into my day a few times; especially with revision. I’m starting to lack focus and just panic, and hearing that voice, even knowing I’m kind of saying it myself; helps.
After this week, I have exams on Thursday afternoons- the time of the meditation class; so I’ll miss the last two sessions for this academic year. However, on Saturday the 20th, I have an exam at 2pm and intend to go to the open Wiccan circle for Litha straight after. Then, on the 21st, I hope to attend the Anderida Gorsedd open Druid ritual. After those, I’ll likely shift my focus from Buddhism to Druidry; but that’s how my path winds, and I’m happy with that.
Before the open circles, I was still racing around trying to find an “answer”. A tangible label for my path, a practical “routine” of my practise. I think this next stage is, yes, to keep reading; even read more than I am; but not with intent of finding “the one answer”. Just to absorb knowledge. Perhaps the pagan value I most need to work on at the moment,